Random thoughts

Went for ET yesterday, and it felt as if I was going for some college exam result where you get the verdict of having passed or failed!

A day before when I called my embryologist, I was told that at the moment both the embryos are looking good and only next day morning will we know if they reach blastocyst stage or not. I agonized trying to find more into what she told me (did she sound positive or was she apprehensive). In the end called my doctor to see if she had any more comforting words for me :-) I debated with her if it made it any better if we were to do the transfer that day. She convinced me that even if the transfer was to happen on day 4 and it were not to happen the chances are same as transfer on day 5; So we might as well wait for day 5 transfer where we can pick from the blastocyst embryos.

The day of ET arrived; we waited to meet the doctor. She told us that one of the embryos reached the blastocyst stage but the other was not looking a good quality embie. Infact it seemed to have deteriorated. After the initial excitement of getting 6 eggs, when I was told that we have only 1 embryo which reached Blastocyst stage and good enough to be transferred, I felt miserable (and that literally is an understatement of my feeling, I really can't say how disappointed I felt in myself).
But looking at the brighter side, I have atleast 1 embryo which has sustained till Blastocyst and who knows might be able to sustain further in my uterus!

The transfer went smooth and after resting there for couple of hours, I went back home to rest more. While resting I read and read about what really means blastocyst. What is the probability of a successful implantation with a blastocyst transfer Vs a 3d transfer? What are the chances of having a baby with blastocyst transfer? And many more such questions hounded me. Internet as they say is a boon and a bane depending on how you use it. Sometimes I feel reading too much about something can also cause you unnecessary worries. I should just believe in my doctor and in God. 

Was it wise for us to have decided to wait till the blastocyst stage, only time will tell.

My references on blastocyst:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blastocyst
2. There are many sites on blastocyst transfer and its success probabilities.